Egggy (the very last time I call you this),My heartfelt words were too cruel for you to handle, isn't it?You have pretty great influence over my life, my decision,whatever you say/do did have a big impact.Right now, it does not matter anymore.You hurted me way too much that I couldn't breathe,I thought I might just be dead or better off dead.Those tears shed, those efforts made, those words spoken, those bits and pieces, were nothing!Denying and pushing those blames to me, wouldn't help.It just shut me down instantly, couple of weeks, you said you were sorry towards me.I can't handle now, I don't know what's lies and what's truth.It was simply a line in between, yet I can't differientiate.I lost my ability to think logically.Never, it was never easy for me.I have been placing you in my shoes,always,and look, just what did I get from you time and time again.I laughed upon my stupidness.Just couldn't believe words came from your mouth.Yours, it feels like millions of bee stings or chopper stabbing right to my heart.Not once, not twice, countless.Not to worry, I have great friends with me.They will help me through.The darkest moment of my life, they were all present.Tell me what you ever did for me?Can you believe that you couldn't even state any?But I have got plently my dear.And it was just memories.My biggest regret was to fall in love with you, deeply, madly.I don't blame the players, I blame this game and myself.Those guilt, thanks for planting them and it was rooted to me.I simply couldn't removed them.For once I made a wise decision to love myself.I'm gonna leave your life, far from you.So that it's the best comfort for me, Trust me I will be better, way better.And then I will thank you for being so cruel, when I recovers.Becos there were lessons learnt.I will learn to stand up by myself after falling down, wounds all over me.I will learn never to trust people easily, me being too naive.I will learn to take things lightly, and not being too serious.I will learn to be independent, not relying on others.I will learn to love myself.I am very pissed off then,but I don't think by bothering all these, it will make me feels better.So I decided to forgive and forget.The best medicine for me.I don't hate you.I just, just being too paranoid for you.And hatred did overwhelm me last night.Then I thought to myself, in a mature manner,it wasn't your fault entirely.And yes it does not matter now, at all.I was so glad that I am still alive till today. I thanked Zheng Kang for being there when I tried ***************Not for him, I won't be blogging!
Posted by Choonni at 12:08 AM.